


The Asshole Jar

by Mianck



Series: I May Be an Asshole, but I'm Your Asshole [1]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Cute Yevgeny, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich, Gen, Happy, M/M, POV Mickey Milkovich
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 15:06:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12171297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mianck/pseuds/Mianck
Summary: Ian and Yev make something for Mickey while he's at work.





	The Asshole Jar

**Author's Note:**

> I can't get domestic, everyday gallavich out of my head and have a few ideas all centered around the asshole jar, so stay tuned. Hope you guys enjoy!

As Mickey walked through the front door of the townhouse after work, the first thing he noticed was that it was unusually quiet. He shrugged his coat off, walking through their living room into the small kitchen towards the back of the house. He threw the coat over the back of one of the chairs, tossed his keys onto the kitchen table and reached into the fridge for a water bottle. On any given day, he was normally greeted at the door by a running Yevgeny, a happily wagging Tank, and Ian grinning in the background, arms crossed and waiting for his kiss. It felt oddly lonely to come home to none of that and a flash of worry passed through him.

He made his way back into the living room and stood at the bottom of the stairs, listening carefully. Before long, he heard quiet voices talking upstairs, although they sounded muffled as if they were coming from behind a closed door. His worry dissipated instantly and he called up the stairs to them, “Ian, Yev, come on, we need to go grab a pizza for dinner!” 

The sound of a door slamming open sounded seconds later and he could now clearly hear Ian’s voice floating down the stairs, “Go on Yev, pick up those couple of toys and put your shoes on so we can go.” 

Seconds later, Tank was hurriedly making his way down the steps to greet Mickey, his feet slipping slightly on the hardwood as he reached the landing at the bottom. The dog’s tail was wagging so widely that it was almost touching his sides at the ends of its arc and his entire back end was moving back and forth with the motion. Mickey grinned at him and reached down to scratch him lightly behind the ears. As he straightened back up, he saw Ian was coming down the stairs. He was taking them two at a time, and as he reached the bottom, he bounded forward, flinging one arm around Mickey and leaning in for a quick kiss while the other arm held something up above their heads. 

Mickey glanced up quickly and then did a double take, his eyebrows furrowing as he focused on the brightly painted jar that Ian was holding tightly. 

“What the fuck is that?” Mickey asked, sounding skeptical. 

At that moment, Yevgeny had started picking his way carefully down the stairs and Ian had widened his eyes at Mickey, drawing his free hand in a back and forth, “cut it out” motion in front of his throat to shut Mickey up. 

Yev had finally reached the bottom and wrapped his arms around Mickey’s legs.

“Hey kiddo, how was your day?” Mickey asked, ruffling his hair gently. 

“It was good papa, Daddy and I created an asshole jar. I got to paint it and everything.” He answered. 

Mickey looked up to see Ian staring pointedly anywhere but straight at Mickey. 

After a few minutes of staring at Ian without any indication that Ian was gonna look at him, he finally looked back and Yev asked, “Oh really, what’s an asshole jar?” 

“It’s for the whole family;” Yev answered brightly, “Daddy said it would help us become more respectable members of society.”

Mickey frowned before reaching out to take the jar from Ian. He examined it, turning it slowly in his hands. It was a cube shaped jar and on each new side was a simple painting of each of them, obviously painted by Yevgeny. Tank was even featured on the fourth side, although Yev had given him a purple tongue. It looked like Ian had painted “The Asshole Jar” onto the lid, in neat white letters.

“That’s nice bud, but I still don’t get it, what you do with it?” Mickey finally asked. 

Yev answered back proudly, “It’s for when someone is being mean or a bully. If you say a cussword, yell at someone, or say something mean about someone, you have to put money into it! A cussword means you have to put $1, if you yell, you have to put $2 and if you say something mean about someone, you have to put $5. Daddy said that once we collect enough money, we can take it and go get ice cream.” Yev explained proudly with Ian grinning in the background. 

Mickey signed, knowing full well that he was now going to be financially supporting all of their future ice cream endeavors. 

Scratching the back of his neck, he placed the jar on the coffee table in their living room and said, “It looks great Yev, go grab your jacket from the kitchen and we’ll head out to get some pizza.”  
Yev obliged, trotting off towards the kitchen. 

“You’re dead meat, Gallagher. You know that the majority of the money in that jar will come from me.” Mickey stated, glaring at Ian. 

Ian laughed loudly before saying, “Don’t worry Mick, it’ll be good for him. Maybe it can help you clean up your mouth a little too.” 

“I don’t remember you complaining about my dirty mouth last night.” Mickey grumbled. 

Ian simply raised his eyebrows and smirked as Yev had finally reentered the room, wearing his winter jacket. 

The three stepped through the door and climbed into the car, with Mickey driving. As they drove through the city, the car was mostly quiet. Mickey squinted through the heavy rain and windshield wipers, edging the car slowly forward in traffic. 

As a car to their left sped up and cut deliberately in front of them, Mickey shouted without thinking, “AY! Watch where you’re going asshole!”

Yevgeny piped up from the back, “Papa, you need to put $1 in the asshole jar when we get home!” He seemed overly delighted that they were already getting to use his creation and was swinging his legs back and forth happily. 

Mickey mumbled quietly under his breath, “Shouldn’t you have to put a dollar in too? Even saying the name of that damn jar is a cussword. Didn’t think of that now did ya?”

Ian snorted from beside him, “The name of the jar doesn’t count in the rules and now you owe $2”

“Course it doesn’t” Mickey replied dryly, rolling forward in the car as the traffic picked up. 

The cars were moving swiftly now and they were getting closer to the pizza shop. Suddenly, the same car that had cut Mickey off earlier slammed on their brakes without warning, causing Mickey to stomp quickly on his own brake, jerking everyone in the car forward. “FUCK!” Mickey exclaimed violently. 

“Three dollars!” Yevgeny shouted gleefully from the back, while Mickey shot Ian a glare that would have signed the eyebrows off a weaker man. 

Ian just smirked and stared straight ahead, as the car started inching slowly forward.

They reached the pizza place without any further incidents and the three of them climbed out and made their way through the door of the shop. Ian chatted with the cashier while he rang up their transaction and Mickey stood with Yev, who was examining the floor to ceiling wall of newspaper cartoons. The shop had glued so many cartoons onto the wall that some of them you couldn’t even read fully. They came to this place often because Yev loved looking through the pictures while they waited for the pizza to be done, it didn’t hurt that the pizza was delicious and they had been there so often that the owner often gave them extra cheese free of charge. Ian had collected their pizza and called to them as he walked towards the door.

As they all piled back into the car and set off, Yev spoke up from the back seat, “Hey Daddy, can I hold the pizza back here? I like how warm it is.”

“Sure Yev, just try not to eat the whole thing before we get home” Ian said, chuckling while passing the pizza back. 

The rain and traffic had let up slightly, so the ride back home was thankfully uneventful. 

As Mickey turned onto their street, a dark figure darted in front of their car causing Mickey to slam on the brake and throw everyone in the car forward violently for a second time that day. He furiously rolled the window down and yelled, “HEY, WATCH WHERE THE FUCK YOU’RE GOING. PUT ON SOME REFLECTIVE CLOTHES OR SOME SHIT, I ALMOST HIT YOU”. The guy simply flicked him off and kept walking, leaving Mickey huffing and jabbing the button to roll the window back up way harder than necessary. 

The car was quiet for the next few minutes but as they finally pulled up in front of their townhouse and Mickey shifted into park, Yev spoke up thoughtfully from the backseat, “Daddy, I think this jar might be rigged…. I think Papa has a disadvantage.” 

Ian’s laughter echoed around the car as Mickey groaned in disbelief. 

Even so, as they entered the front door, Mickey pulled ten dollars out of his wallet and shoved it into the colorful jar before going to join his family in the kitchen for pizza.


End file.
